So You Want to be a Critic?

I have to admit I resisted this well-trodden route into features journalism at first. Who was I to impose my views on others? What did I know about …

In the end my three years (up to 2000) as a comedy critic for The Scotsman did indeed lead to other work opportunities. It also led to being massively over-entertained in the month of August, and an aversion to comedians that is probably mutual.

However, if you are considering putting critical pen to paper during the Edinburgh Festival/Fringe this year, I say go for it, but cut out and keep these ten handy tips to help you through …

1. Being a critic will not improve your social life. Press tickets during the Festival are like gold dust, and are never handed out with “plus ones” so you will not be in a position to treat your friends to a free show. You will probably spend most of your time hanging around venues on your own. After a month of seeing three shows a night by yourself, you will start to dream of a cosy evening slumped in front of Come Dine With Me.

2. You will not make friends with performers. Forget chumming up to your favourite comedian/actor/artist. If you are a critic they will hate you, before you’ve even opened your laptop.

3. Do not try to get known by performers. See tip 2 above. It always pays to be anonymous. You may feel brilliant that you’ve just given someone a five star review, but don’t be tempted to introduce yourself to your subject. Next year they may totally blow it and when their star rating falls (as it inevitably will) they will know where to find you.

4. Never reveal yourself during a show. If a comedian says, “Are there any critics in?” Never, never, never be tempted to put your hand up. They will a) crucify you, or b) offer sexual favours in exchange for a good review. If you do then give them five stars, your reputation will be in tatters.

5. Never, ever get your notebook out and start writing. It always amazed me that critics did this. Not only does it signal “critic alert” to the performer, it is also hugely distracting to the other audience members. If you can’t remember the show well enough to write some notes immediately after, you shouldn’t be doing the job.

6. Don’t fall for the criticism that you are not a performer what can you possibly know about … It is not necessary to know how nerve-wracking it is to perform stand-up comedy or a new play in front of a live audience. All you need is your experience as an audience member. Always remember that you are there to guide the punter through the mind-blowing maze of shows happening at the Festival. You want them to spend their money wisely. It is not your job to stroke the ego of the performer.

7. Don’t be drawn in by hype. Always trust your own judgement. Far too often I saw critics lauding shows by acclaimed performers that were, quite frankly, drivel. If the emperor has no clothes, don’t be afraid to say so.

8. You will discover new talent. There’s no doubt that you will sit through a lot of really bad comedy/drama etc (see tip 7). But the payback is, sooner or later, you will find a diamond in the rough. And it is great to be able to tell the world.

9. Don’t get carried away. By all means give a show the highest rating, but remember that it is not possible to see a show that everyone will love. It is possible, however, to see one that everyone will hate (and I’ve seen a few of those!).

10. Never write “Steal or beg to get a ticket”. It’s not big and it’s not clever. It just makes you look like you are dying to appear on next year’s poster.

………………………………………………………………………………
Learn more about writer Jane-Ann Purdy and her creative team at www.geordiemac.co.uk